DOG IS GOD SPELLED BACKWARDS

the dog
chewed off his hind leg
not thinking twice not
thinking just doing it sort of
the way I moved to New York
or the way they perform abortions.

it’s easy not to think
that’s the easy part I often
meditate in traffic going the wrong way
with my eyes closed someone told me
that was dangerous
after they stopped laughing.

It’s easy to think
of gloom & doom and the way
my gerbil’s neck snapped when
I threw him against the cage
after he bit me
an accident
I hid in my brother’s room.

it’s hard
to stay solid,
to stay still, to keep hold
of the air when you are hissing
above the sunset or clunking
below the coal mines with a sickening thud
usually reserved for old men getting hit by cabs
or an old broad’s pocketbook, just don’t call her a broad,
or other things you are sorry for
that had to happen anyway.

-Ryn Gargulinski, 2001