THINGS I LEARNED ON SUMMER VACATION in MICHIGAN:

By Ryn Gargulinski

The first part of my 2007 summer vacation took me to Michigan, both the streets of Detroit and the cozy home in Troy. It was wonderful to see the folks, especially since they bought me a surprise gift, a horrible clown jack-in-the-box that didn't work. We were able to get him to pop out with much shaking and banging and made a fine photo spread. Other things I learned include:

In Detroit, Michigan
Downtown:
It’s not all burnt-down shells of buildings, although quite a few still exist. Pockets of coolness creep about in the revamped Detroit Science Center (complete with dead bodies on display and a large-scale rendition of the Mackinac Bridge), massive strips of tasty Mexican restaurants and a whole block dedicated to an art project with polka dot houses and mannequin parts propped in sculpturistic displays.

At the Detroit Science Center dead bodies exhibit:
The human is one awesome machine. Because of the soft music, muted atmosphere and lack of bodily fluids, the exhibit of dissected, bisected and otherwise chopped up bodies was not gross at all. Signs even explained how the “previous owners” of the bodies knew they would end up propped in museums for people to marvel at. Mom did say one of them smelled a little, so we just avoided that one.

Some of the coolest included a chopped up woman clutching a briefcase waiting for the bus, a seated skeleton in an “attitude” pose and an exhibit comprised only of the body’s blood vessels. The latter resembled a 1970s disco suit.
It was somewhat disconcerting to see two of the info cards with major misspellings, something especially frowned upon at a science museum. I don’t recall the first typo, but the other was describing some arm bones and listed one as “ELLBOW.”

At Belle Isle, Detroit’s island where dad used to play baseball and mom used to walk 7 miles to watch (uphill, in the snow):
Belle Isle, too, would also be a grand place to hang out on the actually clean banks of the Detroit River. Ironically, the day we picked to visit it was a day massive flatbed trucks hauling concrete barriers were making the round to set up for the upcoming Grand Prix event. My nap beneath the shady tree never came, nor did mom’s attempt to rest in the car when she was ousted by the rude flatbeds spewing diesel fumes. She also nearly puked from the excessive lighter fluid someone strew near the sign that said “No barbecues.” Master of acceptance that he is, dad took it in stride and relaxed on a bench to finish his crossword.


In Troy, Michigan
At the family barbecue:
Despite horrid rumors of the modern day family, not all of them are dysfunctional. At least not all the time. The Gargulinski clan members who came to mom’s scrumptious cookout were on their best behavior, even while smearing cupcake frosting all over their faces and grinding Goldfish cracker crumbs into the wooden deck. This included both children and adults. My cousins’ kids are even more adorable than I remember, especially since some weren’t even born yet the last time I visited.

At my parent’s roomy, comfy home (with newly-painted family room paneling that made my parents sore for days):
A flashback to my childhood home of Troy also gave me a chance to see suburbia gets less boring as you get older and don’t care as much if you sit around and do nothing. For a teen, that’s torture. For someone escaping the world for a summer vacay, it’s bliss. I especially enjoyed the very loud crickets that raked evening eardrums, the backyard creek, making dead gerbil Chad a new headstone and having the neighbors stop by to tell my parents how wonderful I looked.

Wandering suburban streets:
Leave it to suburbia to make even the fire hydrants look cute. The biggest changes I saw were a massive increase in housing values, a massive increase in fines if you run over a road worker and a massive influx of Chinese culture. Some of the signs were bilingual. Those of Arab descent have always heavily populated Detroit and are also moving into the suburbs. As is the case everywhere, many prejudices still exist. A prime example was two Arab women in CVS Pharmacy complaining about how much they hated the Mexicans.