Since I don't want to post photos gross enough to accompany my Saw III review, you get random photos of a monkey named Larry in Brooklyn.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Rental Review: Saw III
By Ryn Gargulinski
Gory, disgusting, twisted, grotesque – excellent viewing for a quiet evening.
Some scenes, like the brain operation with a power saw or “the rack” that twists appendages until they snap, are revolting enough to make you turn your head.
Don't turn your head too far, however, for that’s what happens in “the rack.”
In case you missed the first two Saw flicks, flashback scenes fill you in so you know the logic behind the unfolding. As if there is logic behind this type of unfolding.
Highlight: The rotting hog corpses getting chopped up and dumped on a chained up judge.
Lowlight: Knowing they’re going to make a Saw IV, even though all the masterminds seem to have been killed off. Think of Jason and Friday the Thirteenth Part 912.
Rating (1-10): 13
Gory, disgusting, twisted, grotesque – excellent viewing for a quiet evening.
Some scenes, like the brain operation with a power saw or “the rack” that twists appendages until they snap, are revolting enough to make you turn your head.
Don't turn your head too far, however, for that’s what happens in “the rack.”
In case you missed the first two Saw flicks, flashback scenes fill you in so you know the logic behind the unfolding. As if there is logic behind this type of unfolding.
Highlight: The rotting hog corpses getting chopped up and dumped on a chained up judge.
Lowlight: Knowing they’re going to make a Saw IV, even though all the masterminds seem to have been killed off. Think of Jason and Friday the Thirteenth Part 912.
Rating (1-10): 13
Friday, February 16, 2007
Rental Review: The Pianist
By Ryn Gargulinski
A starving artist – for real – somehow survives being a Jew in Poland in the throes of World War II. This movie not only gives the audience a fine appreciation of our country, our surroundings, our family, the ability to simply walk down the block, we get some piano music thrown in.
Based on a true story, this is a riveting rendition of what it was like and how miraculous it was to simply survive.
It is also refreshing that a sappy love story that seems ready to blossom actually doesn’t.
Highlight: The artist's penchant to create, even if it means playing the piano when he's supposed to be absolutely silent. Passion or stupidity?
Lowlight: Wondering how - or if - you would survive if placed in the same circumstances, when a dried up bean found moldering in the corner is a feast.
Rating (1-10): 52
A starving artist – for real – somehow survives being a Jew in Poland in the throes of World War II. This movie not only gives the audience a fine appreciation of our country, our surroundings, our family, the ability to simply walk down the block, we get some piano music thrown in.
Based on a true story, this is a riveting rendition of what it was like and how miraculous it was to simply survive.
It is also refreshing that a sappy love story that seems ready to blossom actually doesn’t.
Highlight: The artist's penchant to create, even if it means playing the piano when he's supposed to be absolutely silent. Passion or stupidity?
Lowlight: Wondering how - or if - you would survive if placed in the same circumstances, when a dried up bean found moldering in the corner is a feast.
Rating (1-10): 52
Rental Review: New York Stories
By Ryn Gargulinski
Any former New Yorker who pines for the big city need only watch this film to get over it.
After seeing how boring, shallow and stupid some of the stories can be, as depicted in these slow-moving vignettes, you’ll have no reason to want to go back. At least not if you run into these folks.
Even Nick Nolte can’t salvage this one.
Highlight: Remembering you can turn it off halfway through the story about the 12 year old who acts 52.
Lowlight: Sitting through the tale of the 52 year old who acts 12.
Rating (1-10): -890
Any former New Yorker who pines for the big city need only watch this film to get over it.
After seeing how boring, shallow and stupid some of the stories can be, as depicted in these slow-moving vignettes, you’ll have no reason to want to go back. At least not if you run into these folks.
Even Nick Nolte can’t salvage this one.
Highlight: Remembering you can turn it off halfway through the story about the 12 year old who acts 52.
Lowlight: Sitting through the tale of the 52 year old who acts 12.
Rating (1-10): -890
Monday, February 12, 2007
Rental Review: March of the Penguins
By Ryn Gargulinski
The only march you hope for during this one is those penguins to march off the screen so you can stop watching this incredibly boring documentary.
Highlight: Being able to return the DVD for a free rental.
Lowlight: All the hype about this flick, as if you’re missing the time of your life if you’ve not seen penguins sit around and try not to die.
Rating (1-10): -43
The only march you hope for during this one is those penguins to march off the screen so you can stop watching this incredibly boring documentary.
Highlight: Being able to return the DVD for a free rental.
Lowlight: All the hype about this flick, as if you’re missing the time of your life if you’ve not seen penguins sit around and try not to die.
Rating (1-10): -43
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Rental Review: You, Me and Dupree
By Ryn Gargulinski
Sappy and sweet, silly and satirical, this flick is a great pick for those mindless Saturday nights when you’re don’t want to use your brain.
You're not expected to think at all during this one, unless it’s to wonder what you would do if newly married and stuck with a permanent houseguest who stinks up your bathroom then destroys most of your home.
This does not mean, mind you, that the movie isn’t fully entertaining.
It also helps the cast includes Kate Hudson, always a joy to watch and wonder why her real-life marriage fell apart. It helps even further the wife is depicted as a caring, honest and patient lass while the husband is depicted as an Asian porn addicted cad.
Highlight: Falling in like with Dupree, although vowing never letting him to spend any amount of time in your house.
Lowlight: Dupree’s clutziness, which gets downright annoying.
Rating (1-10): 8.33
Sappy and sweet, silly and satirical, this flick is a great pick for those mindless Saturday nights when you’re don’t want to use your brain.
You're not expected to think at all during this one, unless it’s to wonder what you would do if newly married and stuck with a permanent houseguest who stinks up your bathroom then destroys most of your home.
This does not mean, mind you, that the movie isn’t fully entertaining.
It also helps the cast includes Kate Hudson, always a joy to watch and wonder why her real-life marriage fell apart. It helps even further the wife is depicted as a caring, honest and patient lass while the husband is depicted as an Asian porn addicted cad.
Highlight: Falling in like with Dupree, although vowing never letting him to spend any amount of time in your house.
Lowlight: Dupree’s clutziness, which gets downright annoying.
Rating (1-10): 8.33
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Rental Review: Snakes on a Plane
By Ryn Gargulinski
Although an airplane writhing with killer snakes is not the most credible scenario, it’s one of the most enjoyable – as long as you’re not on that plane.
This movie, which sounds campy, spoofy and stupid on the box, was all three. But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t fun.
It also kicked off with a bloody murder.
You got my attention from there.
Scenes got bloodier, bolder. Snakes ate private parts and eyeballs and hung from the ceilings disguised near oxygen masks.
They were equal opportunity snakes, even killing a character we loved.
But they also got some we didn’t care for.
The snake attack scenes were very cheesy and low-tech, but amusing nonetheless. If they were too realistic, perhaps the movie may actually be scary.
Highlight: When the snake ate the man who threw the dog.
Lowlight: When the snake ate the dog.
Rating (1-10): 8
Although an airplane writhing with killer snakes is not the most credible scenario, it’s one of the most enjoyable – as long as you’re not on that plane.
This movie, which sounds campy, spoofy and stupid on the box, was all three. But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t fun.
It also kicked off with a bloody murder.
You got my attention from there.
Scenes got bloodier, bolder. Snakes ate private parts and eyeballs and hung from the ceilings disguised near oxygen masks.
They were equal opportunity snakes, even killing a character we loved.
But they also got some we didn’t care for.
The snake attack scenes were very cheesy and low-tech, but amusing nonetheless. If they were too realistic, perhaps the movie may actually be scary.
Highlight: When the snake ate the man who threw the dog.
Lowlight: When the snake ate the dog.
Rating (1-10): 8
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Monday, February 05, 2007
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