By Ryn Gargulinski
An awesome flick, even despite the fact it stars Tom Cruise who now got fat and reminds me of a teddy bear left in a dumpster.
A dumpster, in fact, is exactly where this young, freewheeling, rich executive daddy’s boy ends up after a tragic turn of events that ruins his life forever. Maybe.
The film starts at the end, with daddy’s boy wearing a mask in a high security prison being interviewed by a shrink and works backwards from there.
Of course, we are dying to know what’s going on.
Not to ruin it, I’ll just say what’s going on is a nightmare world full of drinking, reckless driving, suicide, murder, lost love, cracked friendships, psychosis and twists and turns that leave you exhausted yet enthralled.
Highlight: The psychosis.
Lowlight: The cheesy title which references what daddy’s boy says about a Monet painting or the phenomenal ability for the two main characters to be able to draw like seasoned artists. Their artistic ability is not believable in the least.
Rating (1-10): 623
This movie was recommended by Nathan.
Showing posts with label movie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label movie. Show all posts
Friday, May 25, 2007
Rental Review: Punch Drunk Love
By Ryn Gargulinski
It’s hard not to love Punch Drunk Love, especially since there’s punching and love involved. Lot’s of it.
Adam Sandler stars as a subtly freakish character who is always clad in an unstylish blue suit for no given reason. People, including his seven sisters, a woman with a British accent who tries to seduce him and his coworkers at the novelty toilet plunger place, keep asking him why. That, and why he has a piano that’s not a piano on his desk.
Sometimes all the questioning just gets to be too much and he has to punch things.
I actually laughed out loud twice during this flick, something I do often but not with movies. Once was the scene where he destroys the bathroom and again when he tells his lover she’s so beautiful he wants to smash her face in with a sledgehammer.
If the movie sounds chaotic, disjointed and silly, it is.
It’s also a heck of a lot of fun.
Highlight: When he destroys the bathroom or when the sex line hick gang start stalking him.
Lowlight: The effective use of music and choppy scenes to portray heightened tension actually gets you tensed up enough that you, too, want to punch through a plate glass doorwall.
Rating (1-10): 333, or the amount of punches it takes to get rid of blue suit tension.
This movie was recommended by Nathan.
It’s hard not to love Punch Drunk Love, especially since there’s punching and love involved. Lot’s of it.
Adam Sandler stars as a subtly freakish character who is always clad in an unstylish blue suit for no given reason. People, including his seven sisters, a woman with a British accent who tries to seduce him and his coworkers at the novelty toilet plunger place, keep asking him why. That, and why he has a piano that’s not a piano on his desk.
Sometimes all the questioning just gets to be too much and he has to punch things.
I actually laughed out loud twice during this flick, something I do often but not with movies. Once was the scene where he destroys the bathroom and again when he tells his lover she’s so beautiful he wants to smash her face in with a sledgehammer.
If the movie sounds chaotic, disjointed and silly, it is.
It’s also a heck of a lot of fun.
Highlight: When he destroys the bathroom or when the sex line hick gang start stalking him.
Lowlight: The effective use of music and choppy scenes to portray heightened tension actually gets you tensed up enough that you, too, want to punch through a plate glass doorwall.
Rating (1-10): 333, or the amount of punches it takes to get rid of blue suit tension.
This movie was recommended by Nathan.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Rental Review: Blue Velvet
By Ryn Gargulinski
This film is shackled with a misnomer. Rather than Blue Velvet, it should be entitled Roy G Biv Velvet Roy G Biv Velvet because it’s long and boring enough to go through the full color spectrum at least twice.
While the flick kicks off with an intrigue and promise, complete with a man falling over in an apparent stroke, a close up of beetle bugs and the discovery of a severed ear, things go downhill from there.
While we yawn through the incredibly slow-paced film and wonder what the stroke guy had to do with anything, we are also subjected to an annoying woman with an equally annoying accent who is usually naked, a guy whose face looks like it’s made out of pushed-in cardboard and a plot we really don’t care about because it seems to go nowhere.
We are also left with a drove of unanswered questions, like where is that annoying lady's annoying accent from, where does the stroke man fit into all of this and why are all these women waiting on a guy with a cardboard face?
Highlight: The one gruesome scene in which a dead man is left standing.
Lowlight: The rest.
Rating (1-10): Negative 5,432, or the number of yawns it takes to get through the movie.
This movie was recommended by Val and everyone standing around him Friday night.
This film is shackled with a misnomer. Rather than Blue Velvet, it should be entitled Roy G Biv Velvet Roy G Biv Velvet because it’s long and boring enough to go through the full color spectrum at least twice.
While the flick kicks off with an intrigue and promise, complete with a man falling over in an apparent stroke, a close up of beetle bugs and the discovery of a severed ear, things go downhill from there.
While we yawn through the incredibly slow-paced film and wonder what the stroke guy had to do with anything, we are also subjected to an annoying woman with an equally annoying accent who is usually naked, a guy whose face looks like it’s made out of pushed-in cardboard and a plot we really don’t care about because it seems to go nowhere.
We are also left with a drove of unanswered questions, like where is that annoying lady's annoying accent from, where does the stroke man fit into all of this and why are all these women waiting on a guy with a cardboard face?
Highlight: The one gruesome scene in which a dead man is left standing.
Lowlight: The rest.
Rating (1-10): Negative 5,432, or the number of yawns it takes to get through the movie.
This movie was recommended by Val and everyone standing around him Friday night.
Rental Review: Pulp Fiction
By Ryn Gargulinski
Fast-paced, kooky, disgusting and violent, this is a wonderful flick.
The brilliant mélange of interconnected tales include a drug lord, a heroin overdose, a boxer turned murderer and other jovial moments such as an armed robbery and a guy who gets his face blown off in the back of a car.
Wheee.
It’s especially interesting to see John Travolta in a dance scene and compare it to the one he filmed 100 years ago as Danny Zuko in Grease.
Highlight: The scene where they clean up the guys's face blown off in the back of the car.
Lowlight: We are left wanting more. But not enough to merit a Part 2 that always ruins everything, like Grease 2 did.
Rating (1-10): 941
This movie was recommended by Val and everyone standing around him Friday night.
Fast-paced, kooky, disgusting and violent, this is a wonderful flick.
The brilliant mélange of interconnected tales include a drug lord, a heroin overdose, a boxer turned murderer and other jovial moments such as an armed robbery and a guy who gets his face blown off in the back of a car.
Wheee.
It’s especially interesting to see John Travolta in a dance scene and compare it to the one he filmed 100 years ago as Danny Zuko in Grease.
Highlight: The scene where they clean up the guys's face blown off in the back of the car.
Lowlight: We are left wanting more. But not enough to merit a Part 2 that always ruins everything, like Grease 2 did.
Rating (1-10): 941
This movie was recommended by Val and everyone standing around him Friday night.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Rental Review: The Devil Wears Prada
By Ryn Gargulinski
An amusing story of a good-hearted wanna-be journalist who seeks her fortune in New York City where she takes a magazine job she is neither fit for nor wants and begins to fall prey to Big Apple corruption.
Not an unusual story, at all, but disappointing that her corruption is the high society, plastic façade of the fashion world when there are so many other forms of NYC corruption that beckon.
It’s a beautiful tale nonetheless, save for the annoying boyfriend who always seems to need a shave. His character, however, is offset by the snooty accented receptionist, the good-hearted girl turned Dior diva and the most awesome character of all played by Meryl Streep, the devil herself in Prada.
Highlight: The setting, two of my favorite haunts, NYC and Paris.
Lowlight: Not once do they even go near Coney Island.
Rating (1-10): 597, or the average cost of a pair of Prada
This movie was recommended by someone and I don't remember who but I thank them.
An amusing story of a good-hearted wanna-be journalist who seeks her fortune in New York City where she takes a magazine job she is neither fit for nor wants and begins to fall prey to Big Apple corruption.
Not an unusual story, at all, but disappointing that her corruption is the high society, plastic façade of the fashion world when there are so many other forms of NYC corruption that beckon.
It’s a beautiful tale nonetheless, save for the annoying boyfriend who always seems to need a shave. His character, however, is offset by the snooty accented receptionist, the good-hearted girl turned Dior diva and the most awesome character of all played by Meryl Streep, the devil herself in Prada.
Highlight: The setting, two of my favorite haunts, NYC and Paris.
Lowlight: Not once do they even go near Coney Island.
Rating (1-10): 597, or the average cost of a pair of Prada
This movie was recommended by someone and I don't remember who but I thank them.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Rental Review: Zodiac
By Ryn Gargulinski
This was one of the slowest-moving, boring flicks until I popped it out of the DVD player and attempted to watch the other two movies I had on hand. Then Zodiac became a masterpiece.
For the record, the other two DVDs were Jane Doe and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. The first features Calista Flockhart as a prostitute with a black eye that magically disappears the next morning, not unlike the fatal wounds that are healed in the next frame in all Wyle E. Coyote cartoons. The second was a rambling, drug-induced, self-important narration of Hunter Thompson, which is to be expected since it was based on his rambling, drug-induced self-important narration in the book that I did not like either.
So Zodiac ruled. At least comparatively. Yes, it was slow. Yes, we got the idea that everyone was scared, although that was driven home some 5,678 times with some 9,632 scenarios. No, we didn’t get that “ooh, ahh” feeling of a monster out there, although we should have based on the killer’s story. The movie just didn’t do it justice. Besides, it only depicted four murders and two attempted, rather than a dent into the 37 this guy said he committed.
Highlight: Being reminded Zodiac was never caught and wondering if he’s watching the movie himself and then wondering if he’ll read this review in which case I’d have to say he’s such a clever and awe-inspiring presence wherever he is.
Lowlight: The detective assigned to crack the case who is a real jerk.
Rating (1-10): 1
This was one of the slowest-moving, boring flicks until I popped it out of the DVD player and attempted to watch the other two movies I had on hand. Then Zodiac became a masterpiece.
For the record, the other two DVDs were Jane Doe and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. The first features Calista Flockhart as a prostitute with a black eye that magically disappears the next morning, not unlike the fatal wounds that are healed in the next frame in all Wyle E. Coyote cartoons. The second was a rambling, drug-induced, self-important narration of Hunter Thompson, which is to be expected since it was based on his rambling, drug-induced self-important narration in the book that I did not like either.
So Zodiac ruled. At least comparatively. Yes, it was slow. Yes, we got the idea that everyone was scared, although that was driven home some 5,678 times with some 9,632 scenarios. No, we didn’t get that “ooh, ahh” feeling of a monster out there, although we should have based on the killer’s story. The movie just didn’t do it justice. Besides, it only depicted four murders and two attempted, rather than a dent into the 37 this guy said he committed.
Highlight: Being reminded Zodiac was never caught and wondering if he’s watching the movie himself and then wondering if he’ll read this review in which case I’d have to say he’s such a clever and awe-inspiring presence wherever he is.
Lowlight: The detective assigned to crack the case who is a real jerk.
Rating (1-10): 1
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Rental Review: Fried Green Tomatoes
By Ryn Gargulinski
Even though the title made me think it would be similar to that nonsensical movie with killer houseplants, I was not only surprised, but captivated.
This wholly entertaining and amusing flick outlines the life and death of folks in smalltown Alabama. Some issues include wife beating, racism, the loss of loved ones and a freight train that kills, maims and rips someone’s arm off.
Another plotline running on a parallel track, pun intended, features the loveless marriage of a woman played by Kathy Bates. Thus if the movie ever does get boring, which it doesn’t, one can always think of Bates in the movie Misery where she cripples a man with a sledgehammer.
Highlight: Even though I hate to say it, the happy sappy ending amidst all that grief.
Lowlight: That the movie had to end. It was one of those where you could go another two hours and remain intrigued.
Rating (1-10): 782,000
Even though the title made me think it would be similar to that nonsensical movie with killer houseplants, I was not only surprised, but captivated.
This wholly entertaining and amusing flick outlines the life and death of folks in smalltown Alabama. Some issues include wife beating, racism, the loss of loved ones and a freight train that kills, maims and rips someone’s arm off.
Another plotline running on a parallel track, pun intended, features the loveless marriage of a woman played by Kathy Bates. Thus if the movie ever does get boring, which it doesn’t, one can always think of Bates in the movie Misery where she cripples a man with a sledgehammer.
Highlight: Even though I hate to say it, the happy sappy ending amidst all that grief.
Lowlight: That the movie had to end. It was one of those where you could go another two hours and remain intrigued.
Rating (1-10): 782,000
Friday, April 20, 2007
Rental Review: Monster’s Ball
By Ryn Gargulinski
While my mentor English professor once said a story can’t go wrong if you start with a dead body, this one did. Actually, we had three dead bodies going on - a death row electrocution, a suicide and a bloody boy hit by a car. And the movie still sucked.
The plot had so much promise, a corrections officer falling in love with the wife an executed criminal, an unloved son who makes his own fate, a much loved son who finds solace in candybars. Even the title is cool.
The description on the DVD box also screamed things about Academy Award winners! and even that dead guy who used to review movies gave it two thumbs up. Alas, it was still so slow and agonizing to watch, like a botched execution perhaps, in which you just wish for the end yet are made to linger.
Highlight: When one of the officers puked when they were walking the convict to the death chamber.
Lowlight:The false hope the flick would get better as it slogged along.
Rating (1-10): NEGATIVE 5,678,941
While my mentor English professor once said a story can’t go wrong if you start with a dead body, this one did. Actually, we had three dead bodies going on - a death row electrocution, a suicide and a bloody boy hit by a car. And the movie still sucked.
The plot had so much promise, a corrections officer falling in love with the wife an executed criminal, an unloved son who makes his own fate, a much loved son who finds solace in candybars. Even the title is cool.
The description on the DVD box also screamed things about Academy Award winners! and even that dead guy who used to review movies gave it two thumbs up. Alas, it was still so slow and agonizing to watch, like a botched execution perhaps, in which you just wish for the end yet are made to linger.
Highlight: When one of the officers puked when they were walking the convict to the death chamber.
Lowlight:The false hope the flick would get better as it slogged along.
Rating (1-10): NEGATIVE 5,678,941
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Rental Review: Shawshank Redemption
By Ryn Gargulinski
Now I know what all the fuss is about. This movie successfully depicts the harrowing fate of a clean cut dude, who may even be innocent, stuck in the horrific hole of a 1940s prison.
We get his daily abuse, his constant run ins with the “pretty” boys and his firm insistence that he’s innocent. Heck, we even start to believe him, but that would make his fate waaaay too horrific.
We also see what happens to men who cry about their fate. Let’s just say they don’t cry again. Ever.
But this movie is more than just inner prison violence, it’s a full-fledged plot, something many flicks of the day are often lacking.
Highlight: The friendship forged between two convicts.
Lowlight: Damn "pretty boys."
Rating (1-10): 923
This movie was recommended by Nathan.
Now I know what all the fuss is about. This movie successfully depicts the harrowing fate of a clean cut dude, who may even be innocent, stuck in the horrific hole of a 1940s prison.
We get his daily abuse, his constant run ins with the “pretty” boys and his firm insistence that he’s innocent. Heck, we even start to believe him, but that would make his fate waaaay too horrific.
We also see what happens to men who cry about their fate. Let’s just say they don’t cry again. Ever.
But this movie is more than just inner prison violence, it’s a full-fledged plot, something many flicks of the day are often lacking.
Highlight: The friendship forged between two convicts.
Lowlight: Damn "pretty boys."
Rating (1-10): 923
This movie was recommended by Nathan.
Rental Review: Descent
By Ryn Gargulinski
While I thought this would turn into a stupid chick flick, it ended up being a very cool chick flick. And not the chick flick in the sense of designer duds and boo hoo boyfriend stories, but the tale of a handful of strong, able women trapped in an underground cavern. With a monster.
Actually, it was a colony of monsters and the women, strong as they were, had no chance. This movie effectively takes you to the depth of their horror, which includes loss of hope, insanity and their ultimate death and dismemberment, not necessarily in that order. Beautiful!
Highlight: No sappy happy ending here.
Lowlight: The dream sequence where the one woman murders the other woman who already murdered another one on accident is only a dream sequence.
Rating: (1-10): 18
This movie was recommended by JCE.
While I thought this would turn into a stupid chick flick, it ended up being a very cool chick flick. And not the chick flick in the sense of designer duds and boo hoo boyfriend stories, but the tale of a handful of strong, able women trapped in an underground cavern. With a monster.
Actually, it was a colony of monsters and the women, strong as they were, had no chance. This movie effectively takes you to the depth of their horror, which includes loss of hope, insanity and their ultimate death and dismemberment, not necessarily in that order. Beautiful!
Highlight: No sappy happy ending here.
Lowlight: The dream sequence where the one woman murders the other woman who already murdered another one on accident is only a dream sequence.
Rating: (1-10): 18
This movie was recommended by JCE.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Rental Review: Feast
By Ryn Gargulinski
Feast definitely takes the cake as the stupidest movie I’ve ever seen. With the promise of watching barflies band together and save their lives against horrific monsters, we are offered instead boring infighting, a lazy plot, or lack thereof, and a guy who gets monster puked so maggots grow in his eye socket.
Even the monsters are stupid. And we are forced to watch them copulate.
Highlight: Absolutely nothing.
Lowlight: That I didn’t shut it off once the monsters started eating people.
Rating (1-10): NEGATIVE 1,000,000
Feast definitely takes the cake as the stupidest movie I’ve ever seen. With the promise of watching barflies band together and save their lives against horrific monsters, we are offered instead boring infighting, a lazy plot, or lack thereof, and a guy who gets monster puked so maggots grow in his eye socket.
Even the monsters are stupid. And we are forced to watch them copulate.
Highlight: Absolutely nothing.
Lowlight: That I didn’t shut it off once the monsters started eating people.
Rating (1-10): NEGATIVE 1,000,000
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Rental Review: Dead Poets Society
By Ryn Gargulinski
Any movie that depicts poetry as a deep-seated human need should theoretically get high ranks in my book, although I was nearly bored enough to rip my eyes out.
The flick starts slow and languid, not unlike Wordsworthian verse, but then draws us into a land of molasses-like ennui, like some of that wishy washy Victorian poetry.
The main set of characters, too, are in the wishy washy vein, enough that one feels like kicking them in the shins.
Yes, the movie gets better. We get specks of passion a la Whitman, love Shakespearean style and even some hip, beat poetry tones.
The ending comes quick, abrupt and screaming with agony, the same agony one finds with Sylvia Plath.
Highlight: Ending scene, which is hokey, but brings one to tears nonetheless.
Lowlight: The cliché of blaming death, destruction and all evils of the world on the new guy with new ideas.
Rating (1-10): 6.42
Any movie that depicts poetry as a deep-seated human need should theoretically get high ranks in my book, although I was nearly bored enough to rip my eyes out.
The flick starts slow and languid, not unlike Wordsworthian verse, but then draws us into a land of molasses-like ennui, like some of that wishy washy Victorian poetry.
The main set of characters, too, are in the wishy washy vein, enough that one feels like kicking them in the shins.
Yes, the movie gets better. We get specks of passion a la Whitman, love Shakespearean style and even some hip, beat poetry tones.
The ending comes quick, abrupt and screaming with agony, the same agony one finds with Sylvia Plath.
Highlight: Ending scene, which is hokey, but brings one to tears nonetheless.
Lowlight: The cliché of blaming death, destruction and all evils of the world on the new guy with new ideas.
Rating (1-10): 6.42
Monday, February 19, 2007
Rental Review: Saw III
By Ryn Gargulinski
Gory, disgusting, twisted, grotesque – excellent viewing for a quiet evening.
Some scenes, like the brain operation with a power saw or “the rack” that twists appendages until they snap, are revolting enough to make you turn your head.
Don't turn your head too far, however, for that’s what happens in “the rack.”
In case you missed the first two Saw flicks, flashback scenes fill you in so you know the logic behind the unfolding. As if there is logic behind this type of unfolding.
Highlight: The rotting hog corpses getting chopped up and dumped on a chained up judge.
Lowlight: Knowing they’re going to make a Saw IV, even though all the masterminds seem to have been killed off. Think of Jason and Friday the Thirteenth Part 912.
Rating (1-10): 13
Gory, disgusting, twisted, grotesque – excellent viewing for a quiet evening.
Some scenes, like the brain operation with a power saw or “the rack” that twists appendages until they snap, are revolting enough to make you turn your head.
Don't turn your head too far, however, for that’s what happens in “the rack.”
In case you missed the first two Saw flicks, flashback scenes fill you in so you know the logic behind the unfolding. As if there is logic behind this type of unfolding.
Highlight: The rotting hog corpses getting chopped up and dumped on a chained up judge.
Lowlight: Knowing they’re going to make a Saw IV, even though all the masterminds seem to have been killed off. Think of Jason and Friday the Thirteenth Part 912.
Rating (1-10): 13
Friday, February 16, 2007
Rental Review: The Pianist
By Ryn Gargulinski
A starving artist – for real – somehow survives being a Jew in Poland in the throes of World War II. This movie not only gives the audience a fine appreciation of our country, our surroundings, our family, the ability to simply walk down the block, we get some piano music thrown in.
Based on a true story, this is a riveting rendition of what it was like and how miraculous it was to simply survive.
It is also refreshing that a sappy love story that seems ready to blossom actually doesn’t.
Highlight: The artist's penchant to create, even if it means playing the piano when he's supposed to be absolutely silent. Passion or stupidity?
Lowlight: Wondering how - or if - you would survive if placed in the same circumstances, when a dried up bean found moldering in the corner is a feast.
Rating (1-10): 52
A starving artist – for real – somehow survives being a Jew in Poland in the throes of World War II. This movie not only gives the audience a fine appreciation of our country, our surroundings, our family, the ability to simply walk down the block, we get some piano music thrown in.
Based on a true story, this is a riveting rendition of what it was like and how miraculous it was to simply survive.
It is also refreshing that a sappy love story that seems ready to blossom actually doesn’t.
Highlight: The artist's penchant to create, even if it means playing the piano when he's supposed to be absolutely silent. Passion or stupidity?
Lowlight: Wondering how - or if - you would survive if placed in the same circumstances, when a dried up bean found moldering in the corner is a feast.
Rating (1-10): 52
Rental Review: New York Stories
By Ryn Gargulinski
Any former New Yorker who pines for the big city need only watch this film to get over it.
After seeing how boring, shallow and stupid some of the stories can be, as depicted in these slow-moving vignettes, you’ll have no reason to want to go back. At least not if you run into these folks.
Even Nick Nolte can’t salvage this one.
Highlight: Remembering you can turn it off halfway through the story about the 12 year old who acts 52.
Lowlight: Sitting through the tale of the 52 year old who acts 12.
Rating (1-10): -890
Any former New Yorker who pines for the big city need only watch this film to get over it.
After seeing how boring, shallow and stupid some of the stories can be, as depicted in these slow-moving vignettes, you’ll have no reason to want to go back. At least not if you run into these folks.
Even Nick Nolte can’t salvage this one.
Highlight: Remembering you can turn it off halfway through the story about the 12 year old who acts 52.
Lowlight: Sitting through the tale of the 52 year old who acts 12.
Rating (1-10): -890
Monday, February 12, 2007
Rental Review: March of the Penguins
By Ryn Gargulinski
The only march you hope for during this one is those penguins to march off the screen so you can stop watching this incredibly boring documentary.
Highlight: Being able to return the DVD for a free rental.
Lowlight: All the hype about this flick, as if you’re missing the time of your life if you’ve not seen penguins sit around and try not to die.
Rating (1-10): -43
The only march you hope for during this one is those penguins to march off the screen so you can stop watching this incredibly boring documentary.
Highlight: Being able to return the DVD for a free rental.
Lowlight: All the hype about this flick, as if you’re missing the time of your life if you’ve not seen penguins sit around and try not to die.
Rating (1-10): -43
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Rental Review: You, Me and Dupree
By Ryn Gargulinski
Sappy and sweet, silly and satirical, this flick is a great pick for those mindless Saturday nights when you’re don’t want to use your brain.
You're not expected to think at all during this one, unless it’s to wonder what you would do if newly married and stuck with a permanent houseguest who stinks up your bathroom then destroys most of your home.
This does not mean, mind you, that the movie isn’t fully entertaining.
It also helps the cast includes Kate Hudson, always a joy to watch and wonder why her real-life marriage fell apart. It helps even further the wife is depicted as a caring, honest and patient lass while the husband is depicted as an Asian porn addicted cad.
Highlight: Falling in like with Dupree, although vowing never letting him to spend any amount of time in your house.
Lowlight: Dupree’s clutziness, which gets downright annoying.
Rating (1-10): 8.33
Sappy and sweet, silly and satirical, this flick is a great pick for those mindless Saturday nights when you’re don’t want to use your brain.
You're not expected to think at all during this one, unless it’s to wonder what you would do if newly married and stuck with a permanent houseguest who stinks up your bathroom then destroys most of your home.
This does not mean, mind you, that the movie isn’t fully entertaining.
It also helps the cast includes Kate Hudson, always a joy to watch and wonder why her real-life marriage fell apart. It helps even further the wife is depicted as a caring, honest and patient lass while the husband is depicted as an Asian porn addicted cad.
Highlight: Falling in like with Dupree, although vowing never letting him to spend any amount of time in your house.
Lowlight: Dupree’s clutziness, which gets downright annoying.
Rating (1-10): 8.33
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Rental Review: Snakes on a Plane
By Ryn Gargulinski
Although an airplane writhing with killer snakes is not the most credible scenario, it’s one of the most enjoyable – as long as you’re not on that plane.
This movie, which sounds campy, spoofy and stupid on the box, was all three. But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t fun.
It also kicked off with a bloody murder.
You got my attention from there.
Scenes got bloodier, bolder. Snakes ate private parts and eyeballs and hung from the ceilings disguised near oxygen masks.
They were equal opportunity snakes, even killing a character we loved.
But they also got some we didn’t care for.
The snake attack scenes were very cheesy and low-tech, but amusing nonetheless. If they were too realistic, perhaps the movie may actually be scary.
Highlight: When the snake ate the man who threw the dog.
Lowlight: When the snake ate the dog.
Rating (1-10): 8
Although an airplane writhing with killer snakes is not the most credible scenario, it’s one of the most enjoyable – as long as you’re not on that plane.
This movie, which sounds campy, spoofy and stupid on the box, was all three. But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t fun.
It also kicked off with a bloody murder.
You got my attention from there.
Scenes got bloodier, bolder. Snakes ate private parts and eyeballs and hung from the ceilings disguised near oxygen masks.
They were equal opportunity snakes, even killing a character we loved.
But they also got some we didn’t care for.
The snake attack scenes were very cheesy and low-tech, but amusing nonetheless. If they were too realistic, perhaps the movie may actually be scary.
Highlight: When the snake ate the man who threw the dog.
Lowlight: When the snake ate the dog.
Rating (1-10): 8
Monday, February 05, 2007
Rental Review: Boston Strangler
By Ryn Gargulinski
He killed at least 11 women, sending 1960s Boston into a frenzy of locked doors, bolted windows and peepholes working overtime.
But they still let him in.
This flick is a compelling look at one of the most notorious serial killers of the century, at least before Manson.
Unlike some other true crime movies, this one doesn’t get bogged down with pseudo drama or stupidity. It’s straight-up intrigue and, although made in the 1990s, has that 1960s flavor.
It also explores mental illness without all that psychobabble. The viewer is even treated to a credible rendition of strangler Albert DeSalvo slowly losing his mind.
Highlight: The kitschy 1960s feel.
Lowlight: Being terrified that you, too, might be a paranoid schizophrenic and, like DeSalvo, not even know it.
Rating (1-10): 29.5
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Rental Review: Mail Order Wife
By Ryn Gargulinski
Put together to mimic a low-budget documentary set in the bowels of Queens, N.Y., and starring a fat sleazy guy who buys a bride from China, this movie works.
And works well.
At times we even forget it’s a movie and gasp at the horror the Chinese bride must endure. Like being videotaped while chained in a basement. Scheduled surgery against her will. Attempting to get used to American food with way too much ketchup.
Sick, twisted, dark and hilarious, this flick starts slow but then picks up enough to reel you into the web of deceit, lies and chicanery that accompanies this mail order bride.
Highlight: When the bride “decorates” the house with dozens of Chinatown pigs.
Lowlight: Getting so wrapped up you almost call immigration authorities.
Rating (1-10): 7.92
Put together to mimic a low-budget documentary set in the bowels of Queens, N.Y., and starring a fat sleazy guy who buys a bride from China, this movie works.
And works well.
At times we even forget it’s a movie and gasp at the horror the Chinese bride must endure. Like being videotaped while chained in a basement. Scheduled surgery against her will. Attempting to get used to American food with way too much ketchup.
Sick, twisted, dark and hilarious, this flick starts slow but then picks up enough to reel you into the web of deceit, lies and chicanery that accompanies this mail order bride.
Highlight: When the bride “decorates” the house with dozens of Chinatown pigs.
Lowlight: Getting so wrapped up you almost call immigration authorities.
Rating (1-10): 7.92
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