when you make the
beach your home you note when your
furniture moves – your driftwood – often
jammed to the shoreline or floating at sea you see
grooves move your sandy sand carpet, the
the footprints of lovers or demons or
thieves your radio stays
tuned to the ocean, sometimes
loud rock and roll or a soft
organ fugue you never need
lightbulbs for the
sunrise – you never miss
the magic of a day.
-Ryn Gargulinski
Showing posts with label demons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label demons. Show all posts
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Rental Review: The Crossing Guard
By Ryn Gargulinski
For such a great premise – a father taking revenge on a drunk driver who killed his 7-year-old daughter – this was such a boring film. For some reason, perhaps my fatigue, hope it would improve or aversion to getting up and switching DVDs, I ended up watching the whole thing. I am sorry.
In addition to the slow plod of a go-nowhere plot, the characters are not likable in the least. We have the ex-husband drunken father jeweler who has a bad dream way late in the move that explains the nonsensical title of the film, the ex-wife mother who would be OK but only shows up in a couple of scenes and the awful, whiny, cry-baby, guilt-ridden bad boy drunk driver who is no longer drunk but cannot live a normal life under the mountain of guilt he presses upon his scarred forehead.
Have any of these people heard of counseling?
Highlight: When the movie ends, but not the last whiny, cry-baby, guilt-ridden scene.
Lowlight: The constant strip tease scenes that have nothing to do with the story but boost the rating to an R and probably worked for sales to say “strip tease scenes included.”
Rating (1-10): NEGATIVE 80, equal to the inverse proof of most vodkas.
This movie was recommended by Xavier.
For such a great premise – a father taking revenge on a drunk driver who killed his 7-year-old daughter – this was such a boring film. For some reason, perhaps my fatigue, hope it would improve or aversion to getting up and switching DVDs, I ended up watching the whole thing. I am sorry.
In addition to the slow plod of a go-nowhere plot, the characters are not likable in the least. We have the ex-husband drunken father jeweler who has a bad dream way late in the move that explains the nonsensical title of the film, the ex-wife mother who would be OK but only shows up in a couple of scenes and the awful, whiny, cry-baby, guilt-ridden bad boy drunk driver who is no longer drunk but cannot live a normal life under the mountain of guilt he presses upon his scarred forehead.
Have any of these people heard of counseling?
Highlight: When the movie ends, but not the last whiny, cry-baby, guilt-ridden scene.
Lowlight: The constant strip tease scenes that have nothing to do with the story but boost the rating to an R and probably worked for sales to say “strip tease scenes included.”
Rating (1-10): NEGATIVE 80, equal to the inverse proof of most vodkas.
This movie was recommended by Xavier.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Rental Review: Pulse
By Ryn Gargulinski
Definitely a misnomer, this movie should instead be titled: NO PULSE as it pretty much makes the viewer brain dead.
It can’t even be called RE-PULSE, although the box promises unrated grotesque horror, and please forego the IM-PULSE to rent it.
Based on some sketchy premise of evil dead demon spirits transporting themselves through computers and cell phones, I should have been tipped off when the Blockbuster clerk saw me renting the thing and simply said, “I guess I’ve seen worse.”
The characters are bland, lifeless – and this is even before the evil dead demon spirits get to them – so we really don’t care when they do die.
This is also one of those movies that leaves the viewer with more questions than answers:
1. Why does the main evil dead demon spirit turn into an octopus in the laundry room?
2. Do the demon things prefer a particular internet or cell phone plan?
3. Are folks getting charged extra on their monthly bill for this?
4. Who foots the roaming charges?
5. Why the heck did I rent this thing in the first place?
Highlight: Closing credits.
Lowlight: Everything leading up to the closing credits.
Another lowlight is being compelled for some reason to keep watching the thing hoping either a.) it’ll get better or b.) you’ll actually figure out what’s going on.
Rating (1-10): -563
Definitely a misnomer, this movie should instead be titled: NO PULSE as it pretty much makes the viewer brain dead.
It can’t even be called RE-PULSE, although the box promises unrated grotesque horror, and please forego the IM-PULSE to rent it.
Based on some sketchy premise of evil dead demon spirits transporting themselves through computers and cell phones, I should have been tipped off when the Blockbuster clerk saw me renting the thing and simply said, “I guess I’ve seen worse.”
The characters are bland, lifeless – and this is even before the evil dead demon spirits get to them – so we really don’t care when they do die.
This is also one of those movies that leaves the viewer with more questions than answers:
1. Why does the main evil dead demon spirit turn into an octopus in the laundry room?
2. Do the demon things prefer a particular internet or cell phone plan?
3. Are folks getting charged extra on their monthly bill for this?
4. Who foots the roaming charges?
5. Why the heck did I rent this thing in the first place?
Highlight: Closing credits.
Lowlight: Everything leading up to the closing credits.
Another lowlight is being compelled for some reason to keep watching the thing hoping either a.) it’ll get better or b.) you’ll actually figure out what’s going on.
Rating (1-10): -563
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