Rental Review: The Green Mile

By Ryn Gargulinski
As with any Stephen King story, we get twists, turns, intrigue, blood and plenty of horror. An added bonus is it’s all done on death row.

This flick features a killer who is not a killer and is really a healer who is sent to die on the electric chair. But first he has to contend with having bumblebees fly out of his mouth, an obnoxious fellow death row inmate (who’da thunk?) and a jerkhead prison guard, who happens to be the nephew of the governor and gets away with a lot, including totally botching an electric chair execution that makes the prison reek of singed flesh for five years.

This movie is just plain fun.

And that’s only the tip of the iceberg for this highly-involved, emotionally-spent and entirely captivating film.

Highlight: The mouse in the house.
Lowlight: The jerkhead nephew who you just know is going to smush the mouse in the house.
Rating (1-10): 96

This movie was recommended with love by Mom and Dad.

Rental Review: Feast

By Ryn Gargulinski
Feast definitely takes the cake as the stupidest movie I’ve ever seen. With the promise of watching barflies band together and save their lives against horrific monsters, we are offered instead boring infighting, a lazy plot, or lack thereof, and a guy who gets monster puked so maggots grow in his eye socket.
Even the monsters are stupid. And we are forced to watch them copulate.

Highlight: Absolutely nothing.
Lowlight: That I didn’t shut it off once the monsters started eating people.
Rating (1-10): NEGATIVE 1,000,000

Rental Review: Chinatown

By Ryn Gargulinski
Since most of the movie is set in a Los Angeles desert, we sit around wondering why it’s called Chinatown.

Therefore, much of the plot, point and anything else that could remotely redeem this floppy film is lost.

Highlight: Faye Dunaway is always a highlight.
Lowlight: Not being set in Chinatown.
Rating (1-10): 1.5